Thursday, December 25, 2008

Thank God for a white Christmas!

Merry Christmas, everyone! I wonder how many of you were thrown off by the title of this post, thinking, "How is it a white Christmas in FLORIDA?" Well, it's not. But I'm not in Florida! I am in Maine and loving it! It is wicked windy here right now, but it's a clear blue sky, snow on the ground, wonderful people around, and much love everywhere. Christmas doesn't get too much better than this. Thank You, Lord, for the honor we have of worshipping You every day, but this day especially. To end, I would like to share one of my favorite Christmas songs. It's a newer one by Joy Williams. Some of you may have heard it before, some of you may not have. But I think it's a wonderful tool to get us thinking about that night over 2000 years ago, when our Redemption, the Perfection of God's Love, entered into our world so that we could once again enter into His. Have a blessed day, everyone! Love ya!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

Lizards, Air Conditioners, and Ninendo, oh my!

There's really no rhyme or reason to this post. Just a few randoms to maybe entertain or wonder about...

1. Last night we had our high school semi-formal/staff Christmas party. During the party, we had a white elephant gift exchange. For those who aren't sure what that is, it's when you take something from your house that you don't necessarily need/like/want, and you hand it off in a sort of yard sale Yankee swap. One of the girls got a Mario Bros. Nintendo cartridge. The original Nintendo, mind you. She looked at it and said, "What does this play in?" It was a good laugh. I felt old, though! I remember when the NES first came out, and we got one for Christmas! Oh, how the times have changed!

2. So I woke up this morning sweating like mad, because it was so warm in my apartment. And it's not because I had the heat on. No, it was all natural South Florida heat! So I had to turn the air conditioner on. Now, I know some of you up north are just aching to tell me to shut up and enjoy it, but let me tell you something. It's very hard to get into the Christmas spirit when the weather feels the same as it does all year round! And what do songs like Let It Snow and Winter Wonderland have anything to do with it when there's no snow to speak of?!? I miss snow and freezing and NEEDING hot chocolate, not just wanting it. I can't wait to get back to Maine for Christmas break. I have 13 sleeps. I pray it goes quickly and break goes slowly!

3. So, are you wondering yet where the lizard fits in? Well, here ya go. I left the AC running when I went to church today. I came home and was doing things around the apartment. I happened to glance at the AC unit in the window and saw a LIZARD'S TAIL flopped over one of the vents! I went over, and half of a lizard's body was visible. I was grossed! I touched the tail, and it didn't move, so I figured it was dead. I was so afraid that, if I pulled it out, it would only be half a lizard! So I went next door and got my landlord, lol. I told him that I might be acting totally girly right now, but I couldn't bring myself to pull this lizard out of my AC unit! So he came over and started to pull it out, and he goes, "Hey, it's alive!" And sure enough, it was! He carried the lizard outside by the tail, and the thing looked like a frozen lizardcube! The poor thing was so frozen it couldn't move, but as soon as we set him outside in the sun, he started to move a little. He looked like he was drunk as he was trying to walk, but he just had to warm up. Then he eventually took off. I'm so glad my AC unit didn't chop the thing in half, and now I have an entertaining lizard story to go with the one from my childhood. Don't know that one? Maybe I'll blog about the tramatizing events later...

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

How DARE they????

Okay, now I'm ticked. Raise my gas prices, whatever. Charge me almost $5 for a gallon of milk, you suck, but okay. But, when you go messing around with my DOLLAR MENU, YOU ARE BEING CALLED OUT! How dare they take the normal double cheeseburger off the dollar menu without warning?? Has anyone else noticed this? They've replaced it with the McDouble. What's the difference, you ask? I'll tell you what the difference is: ONE FREAKIN' PIECE OF CHEESE! The double cheeseburger has two slices of cheese, the McDouble has one. BIG FREAKIN' DEAL!!!! Is a slice of cheese worth taking it off the dollar menu? Now they've gone TOO FAR!!!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

A New Person

So I've been putting this post off for a while. Why? Who knows. Call it the procrastinator in me. But I figured it's about time I put it out there. There's not really ever a time I know what God is doing. Nine times out of ten, I see it in the aftermath. This is one of those nine.

Back in June, when I moved back down to Florida, everything in it was against my will. I never wanted to live back down here again. I had tried so hard to escape here, that it seemed going back would be a step back. But my options where so very limited. I am very thankful God gave me the resources to fly my brother up to help me drive down. If I hadn't done that, I probably would have chickened out and not come down at all. But things were set, and I couldn't change them. Even when I got down here, it was a battle. I spent a lot of time sitting on a couch depressed. I couldn't find a job, I didn't have any money, once again I was depending on someone else to take care of me, because I couldn't do it on my own. I thank God for my dear friend who enabled me to move down here and get this life of mine going again. For that's exactly what the move did.

It wasn't until I got back down here that I realized how messed up I really am. Some of you may be surprised by that. Others of you who know me really well won't be. I have been a wreck most of my life, but I hid it well. I started going downhill as a teenager. All through high school and college and life after college, until this June, I was living a life that was not really fulfilling, not really whole, not really there. When I got back into the environment that I grew up in, where there were people who knew me from way back when...when I drive around and remember my life...It's hard. So many mistakes I made. So many relationships that went wrong because I didn't really know how to have a relationship. It's only since I've been down here and have taken a really hard look at myself through the eyes of who I am now that I realize the wrongness of who I was. That's not to say everything I did was bad. Far from it. But my inner life, my emotional and mental life, was far from where it should have been. My struggle with my self esteem was intense, though not many knew it. I found my self-worth in other people and what I could do for them. I never thought of myself as co-dependent, although now that's what I know I was and still am. The past few months have been times of intense revelation for me into the essence that is me. And what I see disgusts me, hurts me, intriques me, and heals me.

I am NOT who I was. The meek, abused, self-pitying, unfulfilled, codependent girl I was is no more. I had no idea what God was thinking when He led me back down here. But if He hadn't of, I never would have seen myself from the other side. This kind of thing could only have happened in the place where it started. I look at life from a whole new angle. I feel freer than I EVER have in my life. I am not the person I was in high school. Not the person I was in college or in New Brunswick. I'm not even the person I was when I left Maine. I am new. I am happy. I am healed.

This song came out about the time I moved down here. God planned for it to, I know it. This became my anthem when I realized the struggle and the fight going on inside of me. It's like the writer of the song had looked into my soul and knew exactly what I was thinking and feeling, especially in the first verse and chorus. If you're finding yourself in my shoes today, I hope it will comfort and speak to you as it did to me.



Whatever You're Doing~Sanctus Real
It's time for healing time to move on
It's time to fix what's been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It's time to find my way to where I belong
There's a wave that's crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there's peace
It's hard to surrender to what I can't see
but I'm giving in to something Heavenly


Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender...
To...

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I've wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You're up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You're doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This is something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It's time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out

I am starting a Celebrate Recovery step study in January at my church. I look forward to the further blessings God is going to bring to me through this. I have wasted a lot of time on things that to this day are no matter. I can't get that back again, but I can make the most of what I have now. And I hope that, the next time you all see me, you will notice a change. I have.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Request Update

Praise God! Sometimes misinformation can be a huge relief! We found out today that it was, in fact, not my student's mother that suffered the heart attack, but HER mother (his grandmother). That's an awful feeling still, but it brought us all here a big of comfort. His grandmother did pass this morning, though, so the family could still certainly use prayer. I just feel much better that it's not his mom. I couldn't even imagine the trials that would come with that. God is so good.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Urgent Prayer Request

I would ask all of you to please pray for the Bailey family. There are two sons, one in third grade and one in my class (sixth grade). The boys were not in school today, and we received word this evening that their mother had a heart attack today and is now in a diabetic coma. That's all the information we have right now. This is very serious, and the boys are so very young. Please pray for strength, courage, and, in essence, a miracle. Matthew (the young man in my class) has not made a commitment to Christ yet that I am aware of. I don't want this to be a catalyst to push him away. I will keep y'all updated as I know things. I am going to try my best to keep Matthew up to date with his studies and such, but there's no telling how long it'll be. Thank you very much.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

I'm a TOTAL BUM!!

Why? Why is it that several times a day, I have awesome ideas for a blog post. I plan it. I write it in my head. BUT I NEVER BLOG ABOUT THEM!!! Then they pop up again every so often, I tell myself I need to blog about them, but then I don't!! Am I the only one?

Saturday, October 18, 2008

A Homecoming...of sorts...

This weekend, for my students, is a four day weekend. Notice I said "for my students". Not for me. While my little bra...err...angels get to sleep in and play Monday and Tuesday, I have to leave on Sunday morning and travel up to Pensacola, Florida (in the Panhandle) for a teacher's conference at Pensacola Christian College!

Now the funny thing is, I know most of my American college friends, when I mentioned PCC, had a shudder go up their spine. Yes, the very college we used to joke about at Bethany is about to be graced by my presence. But there are some fun teachers going, so it should be a grand time, despite having to wear a *gulp* skirt all day!

What's the homecoming part in this, you may wonder? Well, not a lot of you know this, but I used to live in Pensacola. I lived on the Naval base there from 1990-1993. So it is like a little homecoming to me. Not that I think I'll be able to go on the base or anything, but a chance to see some old haunts, maybe pass my middle or elementary school...cool options. It's weird in a sense, too, because Pensacola holds some great growing up memeories, but is also where my life started it's very steep downhill descent in the respect of my family and the role I had to play in it.

Pensacola is the place where my brother was born, my mother went to jail for the first time (and second and third times are in there, too, I believe). It's where I had a few good middle school friends, and where I met a lot of adversity. It's where I was ashamed of my family and the situation we were in, so none of my friends knew what was going on, because I refused to tell them. It was all-nighters at the youth center with my friends chasing around a "ghost" and, since I was the only girl, I had to go into the girls' bathroom myself, and you know how kids' imaginations are! It was the time my sister and brother and I had to go and live with my aunt during the summers, because mom was in jail and my brother's father had to work. It was there, in my sixth grade year, I missed over thirty days of school, because I had to take care of a newborn brother. It was a lot of things in a lot of ways.

That's a lot to happen in three years. And that's not even most, or the worst, of some that happened. So Pensacola has always held this weird place in my heart. It is a place I love, because there were some great times there. It's a place I hate, because there my life changed forever. So I face this teacher's conference with some anticipation, some apprehension, and a whole lotta "how am I feeling about this?" *sigh* It would all be so much better if I could wear jeans during the conference...

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Forgive My Absence

Not that anyone noticed, anyways, lol. But it has been quite a few days since I've been on a computer, other than my phone, which is awkward to try to type a post on. So, yeah, my laptop is declaring mutiny on me. I woke up on...um...Tuesday morning, maybe?...to a black screen. I fiddled around with it and noticed that I could somewhat see what was on the desktop if I turned it just right in the light. I explained and showed this to our computer guy at school, and he feels that either the bulb that illuminates the screen has blown, or something called an inverter (yes, I know, my computer knowledge is astounding, isn't it?) went. So now, I have a computer that works great, unless you want to actually see what's happening on the screen. Sigh. So how am I writing this, you ask? By having a booklight shining over the screen at just the right angle that if I lean over the right way, I can somewhat see the screen enough to know what I'm writing. Sounds like fun, eh? Lol...but the good news is, I'll be getting a new laptop soon, and hopefully before my eyesight is beyond repair!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

Easy Money?

So this website below pays you for evaluating websites. So far is has proven pretty easy. You have to wait until your balance is at, I think, $75 before you can cash out, though. I've checked out a lot of these, and this one seems to be the most legit. A friend showed it to me, and I've taken to it. I guess it's worth a try, right? I mean, I'm not paying anything out, so why not, if it's going to make me a little money here or there. Everyone can use a little bit extra every few months...


Sunday, September 28, 2008

Yearbook Yourself

This past week, Matthew Rose posted a great link in his blog. The link was to a site called Yearbook Yourself. This site allows you to upload a picture of your face, and it sticks your face on different hairstyles/clothes throughout the years. I tried it, and came up with some great pics. What do y'all think?

1954
1962

1964

1966

1970

1974


1990


The really funny part? The 1990 picture...it looks like I'm looking at a picture of my cousin Christy when she was this age!! Totally crazy...

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

A Legacy

"Man must have something larger than death...or death takes man." ~ Max Lucado

Yesterday I was allowed the honor to attend the funeral of an amazing saint of God. Her name was Marilyn Addison. Some of you know her grandson, Eric. Marilyn had an amazing 76 years. She was one of 12 children, married a pastor she met while in college, started a life with him and had five children. A little over 39 years ago, her life changed forever. Her husband, while on his way back home one night from a camp meeting, was killed by an idiotic drunk driver. He was taken from this world, leaving Marilyn with five children; The oldest being my pastor, Rick, at 14; the youngest, their only girl, at 2. Daunting odds for anyone, truth be told.

Marilyn was one heck of a lady. You really don't see her breed a lot these days. She never remarried. She raised all five of her children, on her own, in the Lord. Today, three of her sons are pastors. One is a successful Christian businessman and very influencial within the Bible College down here in Hobe Sound. Her daughter is married to a pastor. All of her children live out those Biblical foundations they were raised upon. All the while doing this, she served for many years as the Resident Director for woman at the Bible college, along with a few other odds and ends. Pastor Rick made the comment that his mom was more faithful to her husband during these years that he's been gone than most woman are to their living husbands today. Unfortunately, he is not wrong in this. Between viewing on Tuesday and funeral Wednesday, over 1000 people came to pay their respects to Marilyn Addison. An incredible woman who, as was the theme of her funeral, lived a life of impact.

We could all learn a lot from Marilyn. She had many challenges in her life, from the death of her husband to losing her trailer in 2005 to Hurricane Wilma, within weeks after fixing it up and redoing it after the two hurricanes of 2004, to her declining health, living with Parkinson's Disease for three years, and pancreatic and liver cancer for the past 10 months. But she never wavered. She clung to the only thing she had, we have, that is bigger than death. Christ. And death didn't take her. At 1:05pm on Saturday, September 12, 2008, she was reunited with the love of her spiritual life, her Savior Jesus Christ, and the love of her earthly life, her husband, after almost 40 years apart. An incredible woman. An incredible life.

I owe Marilyn a lot. I remember her before she got sick, when I met her 12 years ago. A spunky old woman full of smile. I remember driving with her a couple of times, which was a joke at the funeral, because you wondered if you were going to survive. I think her grandson Jonathon must have taken driving lessons for her, lol. I remember working in the preschool when my class was in the old building, and we had tvs in the classrooms that, if Marilyn wasn't working, we could put Contemporary Christian music videos on to watch. If Marilyn was working, though, it was all hymns, all the time. I remember family dinners at the Addison's that I was allowed the grace to be a part of. I rememer talking with Marilyn while she was working in the offices. I remember when Marilyn and Frankie would get orony at the women's retreat and nothing but fun ensued!And I have to thank her, above all, for the gift of her son, Pastor Rick, who, with his wife Karon, were like parents to me when I needed it most. I don't know where I would be if it wasn't for them. I credit Marilyn with them, for her strength to raise her children to know and desire the love of Christ, that drives them even to this day.

An amazing woman. Taking the challenges handed to her without complaint, without bitterness, but with the full knowledge that God only does what is best for us. An incredible legacy. May we all strive to leave an impact with our lives that will one day change this world for the better.

"Let it be said of us...while we walked among the living...let it be said of us...by the ones we leave behind...let it be said of us...that we lived to be a blessing for life...let it be said of us...that we came to reach the dying...let it be said of us...by the fruit we leave behind...let it be said of us that our legacy is blessing for life..." ~The Blessing - John Waller

"For those who know the Author of Life, death is nothing more than Satan's dead-man's bluff." ~ Max Lucado

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Has the United States Gone Too Far?

I always find, when I talk about the Presidential elections with someone, that what you're most passionate about dictates what you think about and who you'll vote for canidate-wise. It was the same during the Republican primaries. If your main concern was the economy, you were more than likely behind Romney. If your main concern was the war, you were more than likely behind McCain. I'm finding that with the McCain/Obama deal. A lot of Canadians I talk to think Obama is the coolest thing since sliced bread. They don't understand why I don't really care for him. Well, I guess it's because of what my primary concern is. It's not the war, though that's important. It's not the economy, although it affects me greatly. Both of those things take a back burner to my primary concern: morality.

My primary concern this election season is which Presidental team is going to be morally right for our country. Forget the war, forget the economy. I believe a lot of the reason we're in the state we're in now, with the war and economy, is because of the loss of our morality, the basic principles this country, and humanity itself, was built upon. If you really think about it, why did Al-Qaeda target our country during 9/11? They blamed us for the immorality that was ruining their "world". Our Hollywood. Am I saying that if we were a moral country 9/11 would never of happened? Absolutely not; they really wanted to attack us...they probably would have come up with another reason. But our immorality, what we are now letting slide, is attracting worldwide attention.

But this begs another question. Has the United States gone too far? Is there a point that can be passed where we can't go back to the way things were meant to be? The way they were in the beginning? If so, have we passed that point?

Maybe I'm way offbase. But in my mind, I kind of parallel it with a section of Scripture in Hebrews. There is a section of verses in that book that I have never understood, that seemed to violate my beliefs of second chances and the ability to rededicate after backsliding. The NIV puts Hebrews 6:4-6 this way:

4It is impossible for those who have once been enlightened, who have tasted the heavenly gift, who have shared in the Holy Spirit, 5who have tasted the goodness of the word of God and the powers of the coming age, 6if they fall away, to be brought back to repentance, because to their loss they are crucifying the Son of God all over again and subjecting him to public disgrace.

I will still confess I don't totally understand that verse. But could this verse fit the principle of going too far? Is it possible to go so far against God that there's no way you can come back? Or is it speaking with the foreknowledge that there are going to be those believers, who know the joys of heaven and salvation, who turn away and go so far that they wouldn't want to be brought back?

If so, to parallel, if I may, has the United States reached this point? We've had it good for a long time, prior to September 11, 2001. We shared in the riches of innocence and power. We tasted the goodness of it. And slowly, through the many decades since the founding of our country, we've very slowly, almost gracefully, moved away from it, until now we are barely recognizable compared to the amazing God-fearing country we were known as. Can we ever come back?

Saturday, September 6, 2008

So far, so good...

Recent computer models tenatively laying out the track of Hurricane Ike are pushing it quite a bit further south than before. Most seem to agree that it will either skirt north of or slam into Cuba before going into the Gulf of Mexico. Good news for us, bad news for the west coast. That is, unless Ike nails the west coast of Florida and moves over to the east. That's what Fay did, and we had it worse than the landfall zone did. Because of the angle in which Ike would hit, if he did move across the state, we would be in what is known as the northeast quadrant of the hurricane, otherwise known as "probably the worst area of the storm to be in". This is where most of the tornadoes happen, and most of the rain. So we're not out of the woods yet. And that southerly track depends on the strength of the low pressure trough coming off the US. If it's not strong enough to keep Ike down, he will more than likely head north, sending him our way. It's still too soon to tell. They have started a mandatory evacuation of the Keys, though. Many people around me are getting their houses boarded up, and gas stations are getting crazy. I filled up on my way home today, and I had to go in to prepay (cause it was 5 cents cheaper if you paid with cash). I was the twelfth person in line at a store which hardly sees much business on a normal day. People are starting to worry. One Christian school a bit south of us has already canceled school for Monday. Talk about jumping the gun. I have to admit, though, it was an eerie feeling saying goodbye to my class for the weekend, facing the uncertainty of next week. I just told them we don't know what's going to happen, but to be smart, be safe, and be a help to their families during this time. Hopefully I'll see them in school on Monday, and all of next week. God-willing...

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Florida's New Hymn - Pray to the Lord and Pass the Plywood!

So it's creeping ever closer, gathering strength as it nears. Ike. Hurricane Ike. The big one. The "very dangerous Cape Verdes Hurricane"! And wouldn't you know; the year I move back to Florida, and they have the biggest storm of the year mostly pointing RIGHT AT US! Sigh...my lesson plans are so blown for next week.

I know some of you had been wondering if I had plans to evacuate. So here are my thoughts on it. If Ike looms as a Cat 3 or lower, I'm pretty sure I'm staying put. Cat 4 or 5, not much is going to stand up to that, so I have to look at the possibility of evacuating. It's just figuring out where to go that's the problem. Even moving inland, like to family in Deland, may not be of much help, if Ike is going to plow up the middle of the state. If evacuation is in order, then the only logical thing is to go out of state. I just don't know where.......

I'll keep you guys up to date, of course. As long as the cell phones are still going, I'll still be going, lol. But prayers would certainly be appreciated. If you're keeping up on the news, I live in Port St. Lucie, in St. Lucie County. If you saw any coverage on Fay, you would have seen my city up there. We were some of the worst hit with Fay. A lot of Fay-damaged houses have not been dealt with yet. However, if Ike gets his way, we may not have to worry about them for too much longer...Oh, the sense of humor had by mother nature! We'll just have to keep an eye out. More to come as I know of it, lol.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Kentucky Missions Trip, The Rest of the Story

I know it's taken me forever to get the rest of this up here, but here it goes, lol. I just claim insane business. The mission house lost internet after my last post, and we never got it back up before we left. Then I jumped right into school. So here, on the Labor Day weekend, I'm finally getting up...the rest of the story.

Day 5 - August 14th: We went to another elementary school this day. It wasn't nearly as big as the other one (the first, with the bat, being 212 kids; the second, about 50-some), but at least we made it through the whole program! It was the same principal, too, as the first school. Some of the smaller districts have to have a traveling principal, because they can't afford a full-time one for each. She was wondering where our bat was, lol. The kids totally enjoyed the show. They thought it was awesome! After the elementary school, we had quite a bit of downtime, then geared up for a church service that night at the mission house. What a great service! There were about 35 people there, including the woman whose house we were rebuilding, who had never been to a service there before! There were also a few kids from the houses surrounding hers that the building team had been interacting with all week. It was awesome. The church people there are incredible, and they have a heart that could change Jenkins, Kentucky, if they go forth with it, which is seems like they are aiming to do. During this time, someone from the community came to see Bessie and Lester, our hosts, to inform them that they had been chosen to be Jenkin's Citizens of the Year! What a great honor to see them recognized like that, and to really get a feel for how awesome their diaper ministry really is in the community. Praise God!

Day 6 - August 15th: We had two things to accomplish today. The first was a trip to the nursing home in Jenkins. When we got there and unpacked, we realized this was the same group of people who had first stopped to watch us when we were at Wal-Mart! They didn't get to see the whole program, though, so this was their opportunity. We also noticed that this wasn't just a nursing home. It was more a nursing home/mental hospital split. It seemed our audience was made up of people more on the mental hospital side, but that was all right with us. They enjoyed it just the same. The biggest adventure came when we got our 15 passenger stuck in the parking lot! This place was up on a huge hill overlooking the whole town. We kept having to back up and pull forward, but soon got ourselves into a position where we couldn't move forward to turn anymore, and if we moved any further back, we were plunging over the edge! Some of the patients tried to help us, but, given their reasons for being there, weren't able to help much. Finally, the hospital's van driver took pity on us and jumped into the van, maneuvering us out. That was quite the adventure! I have to confess, part of me thought for sure we were plunging over that hill. But we made it back safely, with a story to tell.
The second part of our day, and our last performance of the trip, took place at the community park that night. We did our whole program out under a pavilion, and there were hotdogs and punch to go around. There were about 30 people who turned out for that. It was a great night, with a lot of kids. Some of the kids were from the bat school, so it was great that they were able to see the whole program. After the program, I gassed up the Jeep for the return trip the next morning, and we all spent our last night together at the mission house.

Day 7 - August 16th: The return day. I was not looking forward to this day at all. It meant leaving behind my friends and my "family" again, and not being able to see them for four more months, until I went up there for Christmas. It was hard, but I did well. I didn't cry until I got into the Jeep. We all left at about 6am. They headed up to their hotel in Pennsylvania, and I headed back to Fort Pierce. It took me about 13 hours to drive back home. It went smoothly enough. The lowest gas price I found and filled up at was $3.33. I was pretty stoked at that. Then I hit some traffic in Jacksonville, where the car started acting wicked funny. I have linked it to the cooling fan, which may be traced back to the serpintine belt. I have yet to get it fixed, but it's on the list of things I must do this year.

Final Thoughts: As far as comparing this trip to last year's Kentucky trip, I really can't. They were on two different planes. This trip was a smaller community, which meant that events and programs would be smaller crowds and fewer venues. Corbin, last year's trip, was a much bigger city, and we were constantly on the go. But the goals were the same, and I believe they were accomplished. God was spoken, love was shown, and lives where changed. You can't ask for anything more than that. :)
I also want to send a huge THANK YOU to the people who helped me to be able to make this trip financially. You know who you are. I couldn't have done it without you. :) And thank you to everyone who held this trip up in prayer. Without the prayers of the many, this would not have had the impact it did. Your reward will be great. :)

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Kentucky Missions, Day 4

Day 4 - August 13th: The day started earlier for me than I certainly wanted to. I awoke at 3:45am because, for some unknown reason, I had somewhat thrown up, but nothing came out, it just kinda went back down. Gross, I know. I was feeling wicked nauseaous, and I had that horrendous acidic puke taste in my mouth, so I made post-haste for the bathroom. I waited a bit in there for the nausea to wear off, then brushed my teeth and went back to bed. Woke up again at 7am for breakfast, then went back to sleep. Woke up at 10am and got ready for our day.

Our first venue was an elementary school up the road. It went from K-6th grade. Our goal going into the school wasn't to evangelize, because we were told that we really couldn't have anything overtly religious in our program. So we set our goal as to make the kids think we were so uber cool, that they would come see us on Friday night, when we are doing a program in the community park. We got ready, then all the kids filed in. There were about 212 kids there, plus teachers and faculty. The show started off amazingly. The kids were so attentive and active, and loved every bit of the juggling and skit and song we did. Then came the...THING...the crazy, insane ruiner of our program. We had just started the Pebbles skit, and I was wondering where my class was, when out of nowhere this BAT starts flying crazily all around the room! Of course, if you know anything about kids, you know that's there's nothing we could have done with a bat flying around the room. To the kids' credit, even though they were all excited and pointing and laughing, they listened well and stayed in their seats. Unfortunately, there was no way we could get the bat out, so we had to end the program early. We decided to drown our sorrows of an unfinished program with milkshakes at Hardee's. When we got back to the mission house, the construction team, who is working this week on a house down the road, told us the kids who were getting off the buses were so excited and talking about the bat at school and how cool everything was. So even though we had an unfinished program, we accomplished our goal: the kids thought we were uber cool. They actually thought, initially, that the bat was a part of our program, and were asking us how we got it to come out! It was quite entertaining, all in all.

This evening we did a service at a church. It went very well. There were only about 15 people of their congregation there, and then our team. It worked, though, because we have three different teams within our group, and the other two teams don't always get to see or hear what the performing arts team is doing, so it was a service for them as well as for the regular congregation. Afterwards, we had refreshments and such in the fellowship hall. For such a small group, there was enough there to feed a whole army!!!! It was very good. Then, on the way back, Katrina wrote a catchy little parody to Be Thou My Vision called Please Be My Grandma. Absolutely. Stinking. Hilarious. When we got back to the mission house, myself and three others began a two game stretch of partner cribbage. Charlie and I lost to Pat and Robin by three points the first game, but came back to kick their butts by beating them by 17 points the second game. Apparently tomorrow is supposed to be the game to end all games. We'll see...lol. Now I am getting ready to go to bed. I can't believe the week is almost done. I'm not sure how well I'm going to handle having to say goodbye to the Hagerstrom's and the rest of the team again. It's heartbreaking, really. God has a reason, though. I know He does.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Kentucky Trip, Days 1-3

Day 1 - Sunday, August 10: After about three hours of sleep and a computer that didn't want to cooperate, myself and my friend Sarah, who flew down from Maine to hang out then drive up with me, left Fort Pierce to head up to Jenkins, Kentucky. It was 4am. We pulled into McDonald's for a quick breakfast, then hit I-95 and began the adventure! The whole sunrise thing kinda freaked me out a little. Not because I was scared of the sun (last time I checked, I was not a vampire, in case anyone was wondering), but because I'm used to the sun rising at, like, 4:30am in Northern Maine, and pretty much beginning to around that time in Southern Maine. However, down in Florida, it was about 5:30am, and there was still no sign of sunrise anywhere on the horizon. I thought maybe God decided to cancel it for that day or something. We kept watching, and finally, at close to 6:45am, the sky decided to start to lighten up. This, however, was dampened by the fact that the fog was so thick I could barely see the cars in front of me. It took a long time and another state to finally drive out of the fog. In South Carolina somewhere, I had really ticked off this trucker. Granted, he ticked me off first, because he was driving crazy, completely cut off a van, and was travelling way over the speed limit. I was wicked mad at him, but pulled off to get some gas, and figured I'd never see him again. I wish. I caught up with him up the road a ways. That's when I made him mad, I guess. He was still driving all crazy, and tried to pass me in the right lane, after coming up quickly behind me. I was like, I don't freakin' think so, *insert word here I will not right in this blog* (I have verbal road rage, btw...not vulgar or anything, but mean and sarcastic). So I sped up. He didn't like that. He laid on his horn and started coming over into my lane when he was only half-passed me. I hit the breaks and went off the road a little. He got in front of me and kept zipping right along. After a few minutes he was so far ahead of me I couldn't see him anymore. Sarah got his plate number, but he was a private driver, so there were no "How's my driving?" sticker on the back of his truck, and I decided not to call highway patrol. I was sorely tempted to, though. I also, for the first time ever, decided to try that 5 Hour Energy drink you see advertised everywhere. I was just too tired to contine without something. Well, the best way that I can describe the taste is that of a 7-Up that had been left in the sun all day. But it really worked! I felt more awake than I did beforehand, and my eyes weren't closing while I was driving, which I am told is a good thing. Anyhoo, kept driving and eventually made it here, after going through some amazing mountain passes and ending up at elevations of up to 3700 feet. We got to Jenkins after about 13 1/2 hours and $150 in gas money spent. It was great reuniting with the Hagerstroms and old friends from Bridgton Alliance Church. Dinner of ham, mashed potatoes, peas, corn, buns and a chocolate cake followed. The place we are staying at is interesting. Upstairs is a kitchen and what can be used as a meeting place. There are also a lot of diapers. It's a missions house specifically geared to mothers with babies/young children in the area. It's called My Father's House. The hosts' names are Lester and Bessie McPeeks. Told you I was in the hills, lol! They are amazing, though. The downstairs of this place, which isn't very wide but is very long, like a rectangle, is the living quarters. There are three rooms with bunk beds. When I first walked in, my first thought was, I'm sleeping in a slave ship, lol! The rooms are about 10x7, with three bunk beds in each one. Two are parallel to each other, and one is at the end of the parallel ones. I am on the end bunk, on the bottom. The space I have to crawl through to get into my bed, without crawling onto one of the other beds, is two feet wide. I feel like a circus act getting in and out of bed! There are five other girls in here with me. It makes for great fun! We're all becoming very, um, close. So that was the first day.

Day 2 - Monday, August 11th: Breakfast was at 7am. We kinda all stumbled upstairs in our pajamas and went to work on sausage, bananas, toast and boiled eggs. Then the rest of the day was mainly spent in preparation. Since we had traveled up separately, and I, being the one to lead drama and Sarah, co-leader in music, were not able to practice any with the team beforehand, we used Monday to accomplish this. We also went down to look at the house that the construction team is working on. It's right down the road. The house belongs to a widow, and it's amazing to me the place has not been condemned yet. It is falling apart, and apparently even has exposed power lines running along the side of it. The construction team will be working on her house all this week. It is in desparate need, and it'll be awesome to see what God does through the team in a week. Lunch was sandwiches, and dinner was chicken stew topped with biscuits. Very yummy! The day ended with devotions and a game of charades. There were many first time players, so it was highly entertaining.

Day 3 - Tuesday, August 12th: Today kinda started at 5:30am, when Sarah and I woke up to see if we could see any of the meteor shower, since sunrise wasn't supposed to be until 6:45am. We went out there, but there were too many street lights to really see anything, which really kinda made me sad and wishing for day camp, where there wouldn't have been a light to be found. We came in after about 10 unsuccessful minutes, and went back to sleep. Breakfast at 7: sausage and pancakes. After breakfast we all got ready for the day, and I reviewed extensively an interpretive skit to our youngest girls, 5, 6, and 8, who where going to help myself and two other girls do the skit. It's an interpretive movement to Mark Schultz's Time That's Left. Then we went to Wal-Mart. Not to shop, which ended up happening anyways, but to perform for anyone who decided to stop and watch on their way in or out of the store. It went all right. We had a few people here and there, but none who really stayed the length of a short program, save a mother and her two children. It was a good practice run, though. There's no telling who heard that we couldn't see. Part of our ministry we have here is a juggling ministry. So some of the jugglers went out into the parking lot and along the street to attract attention. One of our young ladies, Katrina, was juggling three sticks with fire on the end of them. When she was in the parking lot, who should pull over to talk to her but two members of the fire department in a haz-mat truck! We thought they were going to make her put them out, but they were just impressed she could juggle them! After we packed up there, we headed out to a housing project. Not the slums that you would probably think of when you hear that term, but nice places provided by the housing authority for low-income families. We had all the kids we found go around the neighborhood and spread the word that there would be a juggling and magic show at 2:30. They went around and told their friends, and some of our girls walked around and knocked on some doors. When we got started, we had about 10 kids and a few adults. It wasn't big, but it was fun. The kids LOVED the juggling. Adrian Hagerstrom is absolutely incredible at it. Very gifted. Jona-Lynn and Katrina did a camp song, and Jo and I did a skit. All in all, it was a great time. Now here I am, almost 6pm and typing this very long post. But it's my fault for not getting it done sooner. So that's been the first three days. Tomorrow we will be going to an elementary school (can you believe they're already in school down here?) and a church service tomorrow night. More update then!!

Sunday, July 27, 2008

Recent Developments

So here's a list of recent developments that have taken place in the past few days:

1) So far, total fundraising received/expected for my missions trip to Kentucky is $195. Thank you so very much for those who have given already. I can't thank you enough, honestly. Paypal seems to have made things a bit easier. :)

2) I just got back from my 10 year high school reunion. I'm sure I'll be writing another post on that particular event later. Suffice it to say, it was amazing! What I had hoped the reunion would be. Old face, old friends, and actually making new ones that before cliques would not have allowed. And holy dance floor! I don't think some of us ever left it, lol, but man was it fun! I learned I could shake a little something, lol...

3) After much agonizing and praying, I have come to a decision about job placement for next year. As it stands right now, I will be taking the job at Barnabas Christian Academy down here in Port St. Lucie when offered. It just seems to make sense. I've been praying for the Lord to make me wise in this decision (Psalm 32:8 being my prayer), and I believe He has answered. It will be extremely difficult, because it's so much more traditional an environment than I ever imagined myself in, but it can only be a learning experience. And I am a good teacher; I will be effective there.

4) I miss everyone! I can't tell you how I love catching up with people and hearing what's going on and stuff. I'm really gald I'm back blogging again, because it makes it easier to interact with everyone, even though we're spread out everywhere. Blessings on all of you!

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Prayer of a Suffering Man - Psalm 22:1-21

My God, my God, why have you rejected me?
You seem far from saving me,
far from the words of my groaning.
My God, I call to you during the day,
but you do not answer.
I call at night;
I am not silent.

You sit as the Holy One.
The praises of Israel are your throne.
Our ancestors trusted you;
they trusted, and you saved them.
They called to you for help
and were rescued.
They trusted you
and were not disappointed.

But I am like a worm instead of a man.
People make fun of me and hate me.
Those who look at me laugh.
They stick out their tongues and shake their heads.
They say, "Turn to the LORD for help.
Maybe he will save you.
If he likes you,
maybe he will rescue you."

You had my mother give birth to me.
You made me trust you
while I was just a baby.
I have leaned on you since the day I was born;
you have been my God since my mother gave me birth.
So don't be far away from me.
Now trouble is near,
and there is no one to help.
People have surrounded me like angry bulls.
Like the strong bulls of Bashan, they are on every side.
Like hungry, roaring lions
they open their mouths at me.
My strength is gone,
like water poured out onto the ground,
and my bones are out of joint.
My heart is like wax
it has melted inside me.
My strength has dried up like a clay pot,
and my tongue sticks to the top of my mouth.
You laid me in the dust of death.
Evil people have surrounded me;
like dogs they have trapped me.
They have bitten my arms and legs.
I can count all my bones;
people look and stare at me.
They divided my clothes among them,
and they threw lots for my clothing.

But, LORD, don't be far away.
You are my strength; hurry to help me.
Save me from the sword;
save my life from the dogs.
Rescue my from the lion's mouth;
save me from the horns of the bulls.

Thursday, July 17, 2008

Analyzed Verses by a Simple Brain, Pt. 1

So I decided to take the verses I found as part of the song in my previous post and look a little further into them. As usual, God has an amazing sense of humor. The first verse totally kicked me in the butt when put into context.

In the beginning of this Psalm, David is talking about how bad he felt when he was hiding his sin from God, and how relieved he was when he finally confessed it. Well, even though when the Lord said this, I think He was referring to just doing what He says and not be stubborn when it comes to confessing our sins, I kinda took a different perspective on it. Although, if I really think about it, what I'm about to say could be along the same lines, if doubt and frustration and confusion and depression are, in fact, sins.

"The LORD says, 'I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you. * So don't be like a horse or donkey, that doesn't understand. They must be led with bits and reins, or they wil not come near you.'" ~ Psalm 32:8-9

So my thoughts? What is God telling me personally through this? SUCK. IT. UP! If God speaks like that...which, with me and my hard head, He probably does. The way I take this verse, God has shown me where to go (Florida). He is guiding me and watching over me, even now. If this verse didn't prove it already, the numerous verses that state God promises to never leave us, and that He is always with us wherever we go, should do the trick. So why am I being a stubborn @$$ and trying to make things work the way I want them to (New Hampshire), when I don't have a stinkin' clue as to what God is thinking or wanting to do in me down here? Am I, with my doubt and depression, being just like a horse or a donkey, that has to be bridled and whipped and led around by restraints? God is telling me I don't have to be like this. All I need to do is trust in what I already know: that He will show me where to go, that He is guiding me and watching over me. And I can't ask for anything better than that.

I'm noticing a lot of people seem to be dealing with these issues right now. God is moving, I believe. I know, for myself, that I just need to get over myself and trust. Simply trust. Am I the only one?

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

My Song of the Time

I was talking to a good friend last night, and venting my frustrations about the situation I am currently in. I was telling him how I had this song going through my head, and he told me I should write it out and underline the lines that meant the most to me. Well, the whole song speaks to me, so I decided to take it one step further. This is what I came up with. I hope it's as encouraging to you as it is to me. *
WALK BY FAITH
~Jeremy Camp
*
Would I believe You when You say
Your hand will guide my every way
*
"The Lord says, "I will make you wise and show you where to go. I will guide you and watch over you." ~Pslam 32:8
*
Will I receive the words you say
Every moment of every day
*
"Lord, you are my share in life; I have promised to obey your words." ~Psalm 119:57
*
Chorus:
Well I will walk by faith
Even when I cannot see
*
"Faith means being sure of the things we hope for and knowing that something is real even if we do not see it." ~Hebrews 11:1
*
Well because this broken road
Prepares Your will for me
*
"'This is what will happen to you; this is your part in my plans,' says the Lord." ~Jeremiah 13:25
*
Help me to win my endless fears
You've been so faithful for all my years
*
"All the days planned for me were written in your book before I was one day old." ~Psalm 139:16
*
With one breath You make me new
Your grace covers all I do
*
"So we do not give up. Our physical body is becoming older and weaker, but our spirit inside us is made new every day." ~2 Corinthains 4:16
*
Chorus
*
Well I'm broken - but I still see Your face
*
"That person will pray to God, and God will listen to him. He will see God's face and will shout with happiness. And God will set things right for him again." ~Job 33:26
*
Well You've spoken - pouring Your words of grace
*
"'My grace is enough for you. When you are weak, my power is made perfect in you.'"
~2 Corinthians 12:9
*
Chorus
*
*
"Then I will lead the blind along a way they never knew; I will guide them along paths they have not known. I will make the darkness become light for them, and the rough ground smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not leave my people." ~ Isaiah 42:16

Saturday, July 12, 2008

My Letter of Update, Reposted

Friends,
Well, after much calling and frustration and promised phonecalls that were never returned from a party that is not me, I finally got an answer from the Christian school down here the other day. They filled the position with someone that is not me. So oh well on that one, I guess. I'm still in Florida, still without a job (even for the summer!), and I hate unemployment. You know, you hear about these people that just sit on their couches, living off the government for no other reason than that they just don't want to get up. I don't know how they do it! I'm going insane! And that's been the gist of my summer so far. There's been some high points, for sure. I've got to see my mom, John and I have had some good laughs, Ricky's practically living here, which is awesome, I've got to go to and be a part of my old church again. It all comes with a price, though. I'm not overly happy. I miss the north, I miss the people, I miss the mountains, I miss only having to worry about one or two stoplights. Although I must say, yellow lights down here last FOREVER! Seriously! The beginning of this may sound a bit depressing, but that's what I've been dealing with lately.
HOWEVER...there is a light at the end of the tunnel. A school in Salem, New Hampshire is very interested in me for a sixth grade position next year! It's something I'm seriously considering, and things down here seem to be working themselves out in a way that is releasing me to go, but there's a lot of factors involved that I have no idea how they will work out. Thankfully, I know a Person who already has the worked out for me, if this is what I'm meant to do. I won't know anything until the end of the month, because the principal at Salem Christian School is out of the office until then. So the prayers are really needed on this one. I need to know almost for sure that I'm supposed to be there before I make a big trip like that again.
Speaking of big trips, Kentucky is coming up soon! Yay! As most of you know, the team from Bridgton Alliance Church will be heading back down to Kentucky next month, Aug. 9-17th. We will be working in the hills of Jenkins. There will technically be two separate teams going down from the church, a work team and a performance team. This is shaping up to be another awesome time of ministry and growth. Incredible things happened down there last year, and we're expecting God is going to lead us in the same way again this year. Most importantly, prayer is essential in this. We wouldn't get anywhere without it. At the same time, money is also essential. Now, this is probably going to come off as a lame and shoddy way of trying to raise some support but, honestly, I can't afford stamps right now for letters, so this is the only way I have available right now. The most important thing I can ask of you in regards to the trip is for prayers for the teams and for the people down there, that God will begin working on all the hearts involved in the trip and prepare us and them for what He has in store. If you feel, though, that you would like to help me financially on this trip, I would be eternally grateful. I would love to be able to raise between $500-550 to cover for the cost of the week in Kentucky ($269), and the gas and such to get there and back. Any help, no matter what the number, would be extremely beneficial right now. Support can be sent to my name at 6013 Birch Drive, Fort Pierce, Florida 34982. Thank you so much to those that are able to give. But like I said before, more importantly that anything is the prayer, and everyone can give that.
So that's my life in a nutshell right now. I would love to hear how all your summers are going. As soon as I know something about a school, or Salem Christian, I'll be sure to pass it on. I love you all, and pray God's awesome blessings will work their way towards you. Take care, and hope to hear from you all soon! Blessings!
-Tammy <><

Thursday, July 10, 2008

Looking Up? Need Some Advice...

So the school down here called. They filled the position with someone else. I wish it hadn't taken them so long to tell me, but what can I do? So now I'm caught in somewhat of a pickle. So here are my two options as they stand now. Tell me what you think.

Option 1: There is a school in New Hampshire that is really interested in hiring me for a sixth grade position.

Pros:
1. I'm back in New England, which is where I ultimately want to be. I'm half an hour from one good friend, two hours from Bridgton and my old school, the same distance from Presque Isle, Maine and Saint John, New Brunswick as I was when I lived in Bridgton, and two hours closer to my dad in Ohio and my family in Virginia.

2. The college there in New Hampshire offers a Post-Baccalureate Teacher Certification program, so I can take courses to get my state certification while still teaching and getting credit for that, fulfilling one of my main goals.

3. I'd be making about the same as what I had requested from my last school, but didn't get.

Cons:
1. I'm still in Florida. I would have to leave Florida in a month. I still don't have a job. I can't get a job just for a month and earn money to even remotely have enough to get back up there and get started again.

2. Cost of living. Just outside of Boston is pretty expensive. Not quite sure if what I would be making would be enough to support myself.

3. Leaving my family and friends down here again.


Options 2: Forget New Hampshire and just stay in Florida where I am.

Pros:
1. I have a place to live.

2. My friends and family are nearby.

3. I can get a job now and not have to worry about getting a lot of money right away.

Cons:
1. I wouldn't be nearly as happy as I would be up north.

2. More than likely, I wouldn't be teaching.

3. It would be harder to get my state teaching certificate.


So that's where I stand right now. It's strange how things worked out. I didn't get the job at the school, I didn't get into that play, my brother was going to move in with my friend and I, but he has another good option that suits him better. Also, a man from my church in Maine told me something I was reminded of today. He told me he felt that I was making the right move coming down here, but that I would be back there. Apparently he speaks a lot of truth in the area of prophecy and stuff, as it pertains to these situations. Are all these pointing me back up north? I'm not exactly sure how to proceed from here. Any advice?

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Disappointing Day

Well, I think I would have to label today an all-around disappointing day. No calls for jobs for the summer, no call from the Christian academy that I was told I would get (after calling them today because they didn't call me yesterday), and I've spent the last three nights at auditions for a production down here that I eventually didn't get casted in, mainly, I feel, because I have to miss a week of rehearsals in August because of my missions trip to Kentucky, and the play opens in September. There was really high interest in me until then. I had to tell them upfront about the trip, because it wouldn't have been right to spring it on them after casting, if I would have made it. So a lot of work comes up unproductive. How many times have I felt that?

I don't function well if I'm not working. I don't think I could ever be a stay-at-home wife. Maybe if I had kids or something, I don't know. Just feeling wicked restless right now. Most people enjoy wearing a butt groove into a couch. I do not. I feel unproductive and lazy when I'm not working, and it has the tendency of getting depressing. Not a need-some-meds depression, but it certainly doesn't make me feel good. And that's what I've been fighting lately. Oy.

Tammy's Post Thought: In this world you will have trouble. But take heart, for I have overcome the world. ~ Jesus

Monday, July 7, 2008

Starting New

Well, I figured since I'm kinda starting a new life, I should probably start a new blog. I know not everyone has facebook yet (what's wrong with you people that don't?), so here's another avenue I have to try to be responsible to update. Good luck to me.

So, I am now back living in Florida. Big shock for some, I know. I miss Maine dreadfully, and my life up there (and the mountains!), but God's ways are bigger than mine. I am awaiting word from a school down here as to whether or not I've been hired for next year. I am in the running to be the Junior High Science Teacher. How cool is that? I am living in Fort Pierce; well, really, it's just over the Port St. Lucie line, so just barely in Fort Pierce. I'm living with my best friend from high school, John. He came up for my college graduation, so most of you have at least seen him. :) John is an incredible friend, and he's helping me out a lot. That's one of the many things I continually thank God for; He has never failed to bless me with absolutely incredible, amazing friends, no matter where I've lived.

So that's my starting post. As I start my new life in Florida, I start my new blog here. I love you all, my friends. God is good, and I just have to see what He has planned for me back down here. :)

Tammy's Post Thought: I used to say I'd never live in Florida again. Remember, NEVER SAY NEVER!!!